Starving, about to die, and finally you find some food. Another animal is eyeing the very same food, but you decide you must have it, you must go on living. In chapter four the priest learns that sometimes to survive, you must turn into an animal. For him it is survival of the fittest, and he has hope and is willing to go on. He tries to reason, and promise himself that he will give some back to the dog, but he never does. Sometimes reasoning can’t overcome your animal instincts. The priest is halfway between heaven and hell; he is so close to escape, but doesn’t know if he is willing to go on.
The whole scene is very ironic, and everything is barely living. Everything seems hopeless, the dog is almost dead, and the child is in the same critical state. He can barely speak to the woman and understand what she wants, and he barely has the strength and the will to keep on living. When finally he understands the women he blesses and prays for the child, but it is already too late. Hope and life is slowing fading away, and it seems there is nothing he can do to stop it. Despite all of his attempts to try to keep his human side, his animal instinct takes over in both cases. He takes the bone from the dog, and the sugar cube from the child knowing that he needs them more than them.
When close to death you start to think about all the things you have done, and all the things you should have. The priest doesn’t know if he should give up or keep on trying, he is a state of limbo. A quote from an earlier part of the novel explains why “The lieutenant said in a tone of fury: "Well, you're going to be a martyr—you've got that satisfaction." "Oh, no. Martyrs are not like me. They don't think all the time—if I had drunk more brandy I shouldn't be so afraid.” His immense hopelessness and guilt weighs down on him, and truly tests his faith. The scene tries to make you see how much suffering and sorrow are going on around him, even when he is so close to freedom. By the end of the chapter he feels as though he is barely human, and doubts if he is even worthy enough to live.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
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